What’s with the Hate on Peanuts?

It’s anarchy, I tell ya.

I just read an article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/37643940/ns/travel-news/, that basically explains to me the fact that airlines are now going to ban the famous snack of peanuts during flight.

What? Did I read that right?

Apparently, there are people who happen to be allergic to peanuts – I get it. But, when was the last time you saw people handling raw peanuts and handing them to someone? I mean palm to palm: salt and nuts rubbed into your skin and being handed off to another palm with the same description. Handling anything without a plastic wrap around it these days is a major faux pas and went out when hand sanitizer came in.

These peanuts are handed to passengers in little cellophane bags. 2 to 4 ounces of nutty, salty deliciousness that people can have at the ready to compliment that $10 rum and coke in the 8 ounce plastic cup.

Why the hate people? The peanut isn’t touching anyone at anytime, anywhere on an airplane. What are the scenarios in which someone with a peanut allergy could come into contact with a peanut on an airplane?

1. Peanut War. There is a horde of children sitting in the row in front of you and they all receive in flight packages of salty, delicious peanuts. As children will always be children, they decide to start throwing them at one another. You, being the dedicated mall cop you are, kick the seat of one of the kids in the front you, and they accidently let loose one of the peanuts, which happens to catapult in the air toward you as your mouth is wide open. Odds: 1.5 million to 1.

2. Flight Attendants Gone Nuts. With this particular scenario, I would imagine that a certain flight attendant, has just about had it UP TO HERE with the old man in seat 4B, and has gone ballistic with the peanut bags. Throwing hither and yon, the last thing on this flight attendant’s mind is someone with a peanut allergy.
Odds: 1000 to 1. Why? I think Flight Attendants have a pretty stressful job with all that terrorist crap and bullshit they have to put up with all the time. I think throwing cellophane peanut packages is safer than throwing plastic eating utensils. (Note to self: check on allergic reactions to plastic eating utensils)….

3. Turbulence. It happens. The packages of nuts can be strewn across an aisle and someone or something lands on a little cellophane package, causing it to explode on impact. The nuts escape their confines and roll down the aisle or are flown into mid-air into someone’s mouth.
Odds: 2000 to 1. Why? I think any peanut pouches which are thrown during turbulence will be stepped on and crushed before someone would be at risk of an allergic reaction.

So listen up, people. Next time you are on a flight headed toward parts unknown, remember the little peanuts. They mean no harm!


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