Stick a Bow On It…356 of them


I have entered the phase within my holiday hell of having the pleasure of wrapping all the Christmas gifts and safely tucking them under the tree. Who am I kidding? The one part of the entire holiday season that I absolutely can’t stand is wrapping presents, and I don’t “safely tuck” anything. Anyone who knows me can pretty much figure out that I “dangerously shove” presents under the tree just to get them under there.

However, I do LOVE the variety of wrapping paper in the stores, which is the reason for my newest blog posting.

As I was sacheting down the aisles at Target the other day, I stumbled (ok…intentionally), saw and continued sacheting down the wrapping paper aisles. Yes, plural. Like, three full aisles of beautiful wrapping paper rolls of Martha Stewart blues, and cream, silver and gold (let’s all sing Burl Ives), crimson reds and forest greens. They all seemed to have matching ribbon, bows, cards and cute little, medium and large sized bags that had the coolest designs, that I went into decision overload.

I hate that.

Then it started….the sweat on my brow, the heart palpitations and the sweaty palms against my shopping cart handle. I couldn’t stand it: Too Many Choices.

As my Therapist told me, “Less is More.” So, I walked away…well, rather ran was more like it and immediately came home to assess my “pantry”.

My “pantry”, as I call it, is what I currently have in stock for whatever it is I need and have the compulsion to buy when I’m not quite sure whether or not I already may have the item at home. Most people would call this stupid and say, “Well, make a damn list, why don’t ya?” But, when you’re at a store and not intending to buy something, you really don’t know if you have the item at home or not, so there lies the conundrum.

Where does everyone store wrapping paper in their house? We store ours under our bed. Why? Because there’s no fricking room anywhere else to put these awkward sized boxes, tubes, bags and bows. Ohhhh, I dread under the bed…..Trust me when I tell you that we store more than wrapping paper under there.

I knelt down beside the bed and take a first glance at what appears to be not such a bad situation. I start pulling out tubes of wrapping paper and make two piles: Trash and Keep. The trash pile consisted of faded, ripped and wrinkled paper which wouldn’t be suitable to wrap a dirty diaper in. The keep pile were those wrapping paper rolls which, although a little dusty, were in perfectly good condition. I even found a roll that still had the cellophane on it!!! Whoo hooo!

As I was rummaging under my bed I then decided it was too dirty to continue on and got out the vacuum cleaner. This is where the ADHD in me came in. I completely removed my focus on discovering wrapping paper to vacuuming the dog hair and dust from under the bed where there should only be monsters there who secretly drag your feet from the bed at night and take you into another dimension (Ugh….watching too much Paranormal Activity)…besides who reading this did NOT have this nightmare as a child??? Tell me!

I digress. Back to wrapping paper.

So, I found 5 good rolls of wrapping paper and about 356 bows in assorted colors and sizes that I can use at a moments notice. Oh! and I also discovered two rolls of tape AND those little sticker thingys to put people’s names on.

So, my anxiety of decision making has been averted thanks to Under My Bed.

Now, I gotta wrap all the damn presents….Anxiety and Procrastination Awaits. Can I use plastic grocery bags instead???

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