Read This If You Have Dogs (and a college update)…

If you love dogs, keep reading. Dog lovers go to great lengths to care for their children. Yes, that’s right – I said it. They are considered children to us dog lovers out there. If I even refer to our dogs as “dogs”, I’m quickly corrected by my husband who says in a firm response, “They aren’t dogs.”

He told me.

So, it would be no surprise that when we went into Lowe’s today to buy a new grill and firepit for our beautiful backyard, we ended up spending more than what we had anticipated, (shocker), because we found the BEST invention EVER for dogs and the crap they leave behind for us humans to pick up and dispose of.  I will not be a part of the 100 billion plastic bags of dog poop that end up in land fills each year any longer. We decided to go green and purchase this:

A waste management system for dog crap. Whoever invented this – I LOVE YOU.

After having to deal with plastic poop bags, flies and the smell (especially during the summer) for years,  I can happily state that we have found a solution to dog waste without harming children, pets or the environment! The people who can’t use this are for those who live in a homeowners association where they don’t allow creative stuff like this….any you know who you are.

It kind of acts like a septic system: Dig a hole about 24 – 36 inches deep in your yard where you know there is good drainage and place the unit inside of it. When you’re done it should look something like this.

There are tablets that you use to help breakdown the “sludge”. Add a tablet for one dog. Add two if you have two dogs with a gallon of warm water every week (or whenever it starts to get dry) and it seamlessly goes into the earth below without any harm to the environment.

The trick is making sure that there is enough water in the system to keep the sludge decomposing. Hence the reason our unit is near a downspout.

Since I have two large dogs (well, one will be a large dog rather soon), you can understand my euphoria in this latest invention. Lucy is on the left and Sarge is on the right.

I love them both to death, but they leave several piles of crap for me to pick up and dispose of daily. Instead of throwing it into a plastic trash bag inside a trash can where flies get to it and then you know what comes after that on a warm day (UGH), I don’t have to deal with that “crap” any longer. Yeah! for the Waste Manager. Now, I need to teach my dogs how to use toilet paper, wipe and clean up after themselves so I don’t have to deal with any of this!

On another note, I dropped my son off at college on Thursday. I can proudly state I had absolutely no tears. Rather, it was relief and a congratulatory, “Welcome to being an Adult” kind of feeling toward my son. Case in point:

As we are unpacking the stuff he packed for college, I asked him three days earlier to buy himself new underwear and socks. He also asked if he should bring towels. I said that I had ordered a linen set that came with two towels, so if you want to bring more than that, you had better pack it. This was three days before we left…Remember that.

So, as we’re unpacking, I see a towel and I put it in it’s little space. Dorms are like unpacking 2 tons of crap into a 8 foot square room. I ask Matt, where his other towels are and he said he didn’t bring any.

(crickets chirping)…………..


“You’re gonna live on one towel?” I said. “Better get your butt over to a store and buy more towels, brother.”

The next surprise came when I started unpacking his “delicates”. He had plenty of underwear in various colors I might add, and then I see a pair of socks. Singular.

“Where are the rest of your socks?”

“I only brought one pair.”

“WTF Matt? You think you can live on one pair of socks?”

At this point, I promptly cut the cord and shut my mouth. Let him figure it out.

He eventually bought himself towels and socks and I felt he was ready for his first day of school on Monday…..until he texted me with, “I need books.”

Really, Einstein? With that intellect I’m CERTAIN you don’t need college. I then had to explain to him the finer points of finding out what books were required for his classes and GO BUY THEM. These days you can download them on Nooks (which I bought for him), or preferrably rent them).

I’m wondering what’s gonna happen next. If he asks me how to use the toilet, I’m gonna send him the Waste Manager instead.

But, I will state that if you have a girl going to college, I can understand your terror in packing. As it only took me my backseat and half of my trunk to pack Matt’s stuff (I mean, without all those towels and socks, it left plenty of room to spare), these girls came with U-hauls. One young woman started unpacking 15 wardrobe bags (NOT KIDDING). Then I see coordinated black and hot pink fuzzy pillows with matching bedding, feather lampshades, makeup light mirrors, not to mention makeup cabinets for all the makeup.


I walked past one dorm room as we were leaving because we were tired of waiting for the elevator and carried our cart down two floors, when I see a father sitting there with a sad, tired look on his face. He was either thinking about how ridiculous all this crap is and where the hell they are going to put all of it, or he was trying to fight back tears as he prepares to say goodbye to his little girl.

My goodbye to Matt went like this:

We had to drive Matt to his car because he forgot a box in the trunk. We drive back to his dorm building and pull up on a side street to avoid all the traffic. He gets out and he tells me to roll down the window. He gives me  his cheek for a kiss and I say, “Make right choices, Matt. I love you.”

That’s it. I drive away. He says I love you back and he appears as a freshman dot in the distance.

Lord help ISU.


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