What’d He Say??


“Look Mommy! I LOVE LIONS!”

I have a few problems with this.

First of all, animals shouldn’t be kept in glass containers – especially big lions.

Secondly, although she’s a small little girl, you would think she would gather enough wits to understand the body language of the lion.

“What’d He Say?”

Let’s think about this…..Hmmmm……While he’s scratching at the 3 foot thick glass pane window aiming for your face I’m sure he’s NOT saying the following:

“Let’s do Lunch.” (Well, maybe he would if she were the main entree)

“Can we play?” (Well, possibly, if she were to be a chew toy so he could shake her violently in his mouth and then dispose of her however he chose)

“I want to hug you.”

“Hey,  you’re my Mom!!!”

No – I don’t think the lion is “saying” any of these things. No. What he IS saying is, “I want to chew you up and have you for lunch because I don’t like you staring at me.”

That pretty much sums it up.

I don’t advocate zoos. I can’t stand watching polar bears pace back and forth from pure boredom during the summer while visitors are yelling and trying to get their attention. Psssst….. They don’t care. They just want outta there.

The primate house can be enjoyable by watching a mother and her child mimic human behavior….Oh wait. That should be the other way around……………..Sooooooo, why are we watching primates bond with their young when we can go to the nearest Wal-Mart and see that in the check-out lines? The last time I read about evolution, “Evolution for Dummies”, we evolved from primates.

You want to see snakes up close? Go to a strip club.

You want to see dolphins and killer whales do tricks with human beings? Hopefully, those tricks won’t cost someone a human life….and don’t wear a pony tail.

It’s a delicate balance between the animal kingdom and the human beings we’ve evolved into from the animals we once were.

What was once something so simple has now become extremely complex. Maybe we should all reform back to living in caves and dragging people by the hair, killing our own food for survival and starting our own fires with stones and sticks rather than a lighter and charcoal.

When does the world end? It’s supposedly this year I hear. I think we should all start watching “Survivorman”, and taking some tips from Les Stroud so we can fight off those wild animals that escape from the zoo, kill them, and then cook them over an open fire.

ME….HUNT…..ANIMAL….UGH.

Hey! If that were to happen, does that mean that women no longer have to shave?  Would we be able to grow armpit hair and not shave our legs any longer?

But wait…..That means no hair product. No Showers. Oh! But, there’s the rivers or lakes. But, still…..No hair product. I have alot of hair – that would suck.

How far would you go to simplify your life and go back as far as you could…..as close to the stone age, without offending anyone with body odor, or looking like the guy from Geico?

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