I Got Sucker-punched…


I love my son – really, I do. He was home for a month for Christmas break, and he left yesterday. I’m really glad…..and so is my bank account.

I had to put my foot down with Matt on this visit because he keeps asking me for cash, even after I give him a monthly allowance. This monthly allowance is rather generous given what some college kids get…which is close to nothing.

He says it’s not enough. So, I told him he needs to get a job.

“College is hard, Mom.” And, then I heard myself echo what my mom and dad said to me all the time, “LIFE IS HARD, MATT.” Yet I always managed to get suckered into giving him gas money because we live alllllll the way out in Wheaton compared to living where his buddies are…which is roughly 15 – 20 minutes away.

That takes alot of gas.

Farting….maybe. Gasoline – NO. So, I felt continually sucker-punched by him this entire break since I felt all I was necessary for was providing him with cash for hanging out with his friends and gas money.

So, a letter came in the mail while he was on break asking college kids who were on break if they needed extra cash. Yes! Yes! Matt needs extra cash! So, I handed him the letter and told him it would be a good idea to check into this job offer while he was on break.

The job was to sell knives, er, cutlery, being the correct term to use, and he would get paid close to $18/hour.

So, I’m imagining my kid trying to sell knives to perfect strangers. “Miss, would you mind standing against that wall over there, and I’ll show you just how sharp these knives, as well as my aim is?” Or, “Put your hand on the table and spread your fingers apart. I’ll impress you with my ninja like moves – limbering quickly in between your fingers, piercing your fine wooden table with these sharp knives without managing to stab you in the thumb.”

Or, he could do the revenge sell…..”Hey, you wanna get back at someone for ruining you life? These knives are the shit!”

No. Actually, I had Matt use me as his first victim in making a sale, and I wasn’t easy on him. He started out with showing me a peeler. This particular peeler has a perk (say that fast three times)…it peels back and forth, rather than just forward. With rapid speed, he demonstrated the peeler, just like Ron Popeil sliced, diced and made julienne fries, except Matt used a carrot.

I was impressed. I asked him the standard questions: “Is it dishwasher safe? What’s the warranty? Can it pierce thru my husband’s chest cavity?”

He answered positively to the first two questions, and laughed at the third.

Then he sold me on a steak knife set, which I was corrected several times, that it’s technically called “table knives.” WHAT……………EVER.

So, now he has me on the hook for a peeler and steak, er table knives. Oooh! What’s this? a set with a pizza cutter, cheese cutter and an ice cream scooper? I’ll take that too. My ice cream scooper is about 25 years old and I’m really afraid to use it for fear of getting botulism, or swallowing metal fragments.

He demonstrated how sharp the knives were by slicing thru leather and showed how sharp the scissors were by cutting thru a penny.

So, as a salesman, he did a pretty good job, fielding my questions and I gave him a little advice.

That job is over now because he’s gone back to school, but he now needs another job to help supplement his extravagant college lifestyle he’s become so accustomed to living.

Mom isn’t paying for anything more. If he runs out of cash after the first week of getting his monthly allowance, looks like he’s on his own or maybe he can GET A JOB like most other college kids.

Hey parents with college kids – do you feel sucker-punched when your kids come home from break? Do they constantly ask you for cash?

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2 thoughts on “I Got Sucker-punched…

  1. My parents paid for NOTHING while I was in college – except for roundtrip visits and the one time my car transmission went out. I had three jobs at one point, and was president of my sorority. I don’t talk to my parents now – but it has nothing to do with that. I am glad now that I had that independence, though I think one job would have been sufficient.

    1. Yeah, I’m pretty much done. I will continue giving him an allowance and nothing more. I really feel taken advantage of.

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