Hey Guys!


Whenever you meet up with people, walk into a meeting, or accidentally run into a few friends at a restaurant, the average greeting is, “Hey Guys!” That big, hearty shout out from across the room.

Here’s the problem with that statement: Girls aren’t guys. Guys are guys.

So, I had to blow the dust off of my thesaurus, which rhymes with stegosaurus because it’s so ancient, and then put it down. What was I thinking??

To the internet! Wish a swoosh of my blog cape, I typed in the word, “guys.” Here are the results:

Main Entry:

guy

Part of Speech: noun
Definition: man
Synonyms: bird*, bloke, boy, brother, bud, buddy, cat*, chap, chum, dude*, feller, fellow, gentleman, individual, male, person
Antonyms: girl

Did you see the antonym there? Why yes! It says, “girl.” So, let’s replay the scenario I just wrote with proper use based on some of the synonyms for the word, “guy.”

“Wait up, Brothers!”

“What’s new, Cats?”

“Hey there, Chums!”

“Wait a minute, Individuals!”

Guys are labeled as an individual. That’s nice…. for a guy. It’s certainly not feminine for a woman. I mean, guys are men. Brothers. Cats. Which begs the question, do guys lick themselves? If they did, they’d never leave the house. Then you work your way down to Chums: Chumster, Chummy-chum-chum, The Chummer, and of course the famous Individual.

So, what about girls? Women? Let’s see what the good ‘ol thesaurs says:

Main Entry:
girl
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: young female person
Synonyms: Ms, adolescent, damsel, daughter, lady, lassie, mademoiselle, schoolgirl, she, teenager, young lady, young woman
Antonyms: boy

As you can see, there is no reference to “guy” in the definition of the word, “girl.”

When was the last time you were called a damsel? Were you in an episode of Dudley Do-Right? Is your name, Nel, by chance? Were you recently tied to train tracks and yelling in, dare I say it, distress?

What about lassie? I would consider that a reference to me being a dog. I’d cry if anyone called me lassie. I remember that movie and I don’t want to be walking thru torrential downpours with a hurt paw. I want to be home with Timmy.

Adolescent? I won’t comment on that one since I do act like an adolescent at times.

The word, “girl” isn’t workin’ for me unless another girl says to me, “How’s it goin’ girl??” So, let’s check out the word, “woman.”

Concept: Woman.
Category: 1. Vitality; special vitality
Synonyms:
-nouns
woman, she, her, female, petticoat., feminality, muliebrity; womanhood (adolescence)., womankind; the sex, the fair; fair sex, softer sex., dame, madam, madame, mistress, Mrs., lady, donna, belle, matron, dowager, goody, gammer; Frau, frow, Vrouw, rani; good woman, good wife; squaw; wife (marriage); matronage, matronhood., bachelor girl, new woman, feminist, suffragette, suffragist., nymph, wench, grisette; girl (youth)., [Effeminacy] sissy, betty, cot betty [U.S.], cotquean, henhussy, molly coddle, muff, old woman., [Female animal] hen, bitch, sow, doe, roe, mare; she goat, Nanny goat, tabita; ewe, cow; lioness, tigress; vixen., gynecaeum.

These make me laugh. I’m called a Nanny goat at least twice a day. Vixen? Really? That would tie in with Tigress. Where’s Cougar on this list???

Squaw? No, no, no. I want to be named a really cool indian name like that chick from “Dancing with Wolves.” But, I wouldn’t be called “Stands With A Fist.” I would be called, “Kicks Ass If Called Squaw.”

Squaw sounds like the sound a crow makes….SQUAW! SQUAW!!! Am I dive bombing your head, pecking at it for food bits? Not at this moment. But call me a Squaw…..

Nymph? Wow. No comment.

Wench is a good one. So is sissy, as in “YA BIG SISSY!”

Bitch. I get called that word on any given day at any given time. See previous blog.

So, now that we have the proper term for woman, instead of “Hey, Guys!” We can use something like, “Hey, Bitches!” Or, “Hey, Nanny Goats!” Or……………..

“HEY, YA BIG SISSY!!!!”

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