My Dogs’ Habits

three dogsEach one of my dogs have distinct personalities. They also have distinct habits and well, bad manners.

I don’t know about you, but as a dog lover I sometimes just shake my head, turn the other cheek, or laugh to myself when I see my dogs do some pretty stupid shit. I often wonder what the reaction would be if I were to do what they were doing except in a restaurant..or a bar. Grocery store, even.

Sarge is my main man. (For the sake of those non-dog lovers the word, “man” best represents Sarge in this scenario. As you can see, my dogs are not “dogs.”)

Sarge is the big, black German Shepherd on the far right and the oldest of the three dummies you see in that picture. Being the oldest gives him certain perks, accolades, superiority and responsibility over the other kids in the house. He can barge in between me and another kid because he wants to be petted FIRST. He can take any toy he wants, shake it until its “stunned or dead,” then put it in his hoarding pile while he sits next to it and growls at the other kids who want to play with, all of a sudden, HIS toys.

Sarge chases squirrels. Therefore, Lucy, my second oldest at almost two  years of age, and on the left in the picture, will run behind Sarge and grab onto his tail and shake it viciously to get his attention. All of a sudden I have flashbacks to Don Cornelius and “Soul Train.” Two kids with 8 paws prancing around the yard, doin’ the line dance while Lucy grabs Sarge’s tail in her jaws and Sarge gives chase to the squirrel.

dogs on porchLucy’s not too bright.  Being the only girl of the family (besides me, and let’s leave humans out of this), she’s the smallest of them all, and she  is absolutely convinced that cameras steal your soul.

We recently had a photo session to get the picture you see above. As soon as Lucy saw the equipment, she started hiding behind bushes, sitting by the door and basically wanted everyone to know that she was invinsible. She was like a girl wearing a bikini for the first time and was self conscious of her body. We tried everything…I mean everything to get Lucy into the shot. After about an hour, we must have convinced her thru her watching the other kids undergoing their photo shoot that maybe the camera isn’t the devil after all.

Crusher is our comedian. At seven months old, he is our coat German Shepherd with direct German heritage. Being in the middle of the pictures, you can tell his snout is shorter than the other kids. He also has longer hair…..

It was the milkman!

He also likes to:

  • Artfully tear up his bedding. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be a lambswool crate pad, comforter, lighter throw blankets….I think he creates a puzzle in his mind when we go to bed, and when we wake up in the morning to let him out, he’s created a jigsaw puzzle out of whatever it was he was sleeping on. You can find hundreds and hundreds of itty – bitty pieces in his crate.
  • He barks and is smitten with the black lab puppy behind us. So much smitten, that he puts his head thru the gate posts. He’s gonna get his melon stuck one day……
  • Talk. He can talk until you tell him to shut the hell up. He and Lucy will have long meaningful conversations with one another. They lay on my bed and paw one another while talking about Syria and gun control.
  • He likes to jump out of car windows while the car is moving. Seriously. He thinks he’s Underdog.

All of my kids hate stuffed animals.  We all know stuffed animals are real because Toy Story said so. If any stuffed animal has made it into this house as a gift for our dog, it was murdered. Dismembered.

And, they are all meticulous when it comes to hygiene. Enough said.


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