If you are a normal woman, you are probably on Pinterest. Even if you’re not on Pinterest I’m sure you have to go out of the house every once in awhile, right? So, if you are like me, you’ve been bombarded with “Pumpkin Palooza.”
For some reason it seems, at least to me, that this year has been the worst when it comes to concocting, designing and selling anything and everything that can have pumpkin in it.
Maybe Pinterest is to blame. I mean, most of my research for this particular blog has come from Pinterest. I even have a special board titled, “Pumpkin Palooza,” because I think most of the items pinned on this board are completely ridiculous (except for the pumpkin Pop Tarts).
Some of the stuff I could understand: Pumpkin pie (duh – hello? no brainer). Pumpkin soup, pumpkin spiced coffee and pumpkin flavored Rice Krispy treats. What I DON’T understand are some of the following:
Pumpkin Jewelry. If you are a room mother in grade school or a teacher who is required to get into the Halloween spirit, I can understand this. However, this little number looks like it could weigh your neck down and if you should hit someone on the head with it (by accident, of course), it would render them unconscious.
Pureed Pumpkin Wall Color. WTF? First of all, this color doesn’t look like pureed pumpkin to me. Pumpkin is orange. It doesn’t matter if you dice it, slice it, or make julienne fries with it, it will always, ALWAYS be orange. This color is borderline purple. So, unless you believe that pumpkins are purple, you got ripped off.
Pumpkin Nails. Let’s refer back to the room mother/teacher scenario, shall we?
Beauty Products. I can understand cucumber, witch hazel, and some other smelly seeds, but pumpkin??? Not sure about that one. I’ve never had pumpkin smeared all over my face. It is not my intention to start now.
Pumpkin Marshmallows. If you make S’mores with these marshmallows, I will hunt you down and kill you. S’mores are only meant to be digested with original marshmallows. “Original” means the ol’ fashioned kind. Ya know….it actually tastes like a marshmallow.
Pumpkin Whiskey. I can’t drink Whiskey in its original form, let alone adding pumpkin flavoring to it. Do bars even sell Pumpkin Whiskey? Does Jim Beam add the pulp to the whiskey or do they use the rind? Seeds? Wait…..I don’t want to know.
Pumpkin Ice Cooler. This is for those people who are planning a party and want to impress people with their DIY skills, or show how crafty they can be by purchasing a 50 pound pumpkin, take all the insides out and use it for a beer cooler. I wonder what that baby will smell like after about six hours.
Don’t get me wrong. I love fall. I love everything about fall. But this whole pumpkin thing is pretty preposterous and is pondering on the precipice of some pretty active police action.
I am NOT a pumpkin pooper. I’ve just had it up to HERE with pumpkin possessions. PERIOD.