Jeep Protocol


I had no idea how complicated Jeep protocol is until my husband bought one.

A 2006 Soft Top, Jeep Wrangler to be precise. It’s in pristine condition; ironically, it has “Black Ops” on both sides.

Since he bought an automatic (Okay – let’s calm down, hardcore Jeep owners), I needed to know the protocol on driving it. I do not know how to drive a manual car (i.e. stick). My husband tried to teach me in a desolate parking lot one day, but we gave up hope since I kept stalling his engine, and he was snarling. That’s never a good sign in a husband.

I can’t believe the requirements of Jeep protocol–most of which comes in the form of signaling to2006jeepwrangler another Jeep owner that you are saying to them, “Hey, you’re cool. So am I.”

My husband started out by telling me, “You can’t do that girly-wave thing.” 

“What do you mean by “girly-wave thing?””

girlwaving“You know–using your entire body, while waving your hands in the air to get another person’s attention. Don’t do it. It’s unacceptable in a Jeep.”

“Okay. I guess my cheerleader/pom-pom moves are out of the question, then.”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

He then went onto say, “Secondly, you can’t wave to another girl.”

“Why not?”

“You just can’t. Don’t ask questions.”

“Okay.”

He continued. “The most important thing you need to know is that you can not wave to another Jeep if the Jeep is not a soft top and the make is newer than yours.”

This instruction threw me a curve ball. “How the hell am I supposed to know the year of a Jeep? I’m a girl, remember? Girls don’t know the difference between a 2006 and 2007 model of any type of car unless you lived with five boys in your family or worked for a mechanic.”

My husband let out a huge sigh. “Just do this.” He put his left hand on the steering wheel and just let up his four fingers without removing his thumb. 

It was a guy wave.

So, now I’m a girl in a Jeep doing a “guy wave” to another guy (girls needn’t apply), who only have soft top Jeeps made either in 2006 or before.

Does this make sense to anyone? ANYONE?

 

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