Who Wants a Free Book? Me! Me!


Now that I have Angry Birds and Beehive Hair – A Short Story Collection of Real-Life Sarcastic Drama finally published, I need to put on my marketing hat to start begging and pleading with my followers to read it and post a review.

What to do…

Who doesn’t love something that’s free? Free samples at the grocery store, free parking, free piercings (please don’t tell freebookme where), free salmonella poisoning from a restaurant. Free is awesome.

With the knowledge of knowing that everybody loves something for free, I’d like to provide the first ten people (That’s TEN, not eleven or twelve–TEN), who comment on this blog post (you cannot comment on Facebook or Twitter), that you want a free autographed hard cover book of my latest publication, and I will send it to you with the following caveat: you MUST write a review of my book on either Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Yes, there is a catch and here are the rules:

1. Reply to this post by typing the following: “I (state your first name), would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the (please state Amazon or Barnes & Noble) website.

2. I will have your email address via the blog posting and will send you an email asking for your complete name, mailing address and to whom the book should be signed. I won’t sign it in blood. I prefer a black pen.

3. I will post the winners on this blog (first names only–I’m well aware of the witness protection program), which will then make you accountable to provide the review. If I don’t receive a review by you, I suppose I got sucker-punched. But, I’m not beneath going to your house at one in the morning with a baseball bat. I’ve watched Amish Mafia. I can do Amish too, but I won’t wear that white cap thing–I can’t even figure out how to use bobby pins.

All winners will have books mailed to them within ten business days of notification via email. 

In all seriousness, I’m working on faith here, people. I really would like your feedback and reviews so I can start feeding my dogs. Reviews provide credibility. Credibility provides sales. Sales provide money. Money provides dog food.

My three dogs are big eaters, and we’re running low on food to keep them alive. You wouldn’t want three dead dogs on your conscience, would you?

I didn’t think so.

Ready? Set? Go! Get a hard cover, autographed book of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair for FREEEEEEEEE!!!!

 

 

 

 

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21 thoughts on “Who Wants a Free Book? Me! Me!

  1. “I, Jeff, would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes & Noble website.” Three dogs? Pretty soon you are going to be classified as a shelter, no?

    1. I’m known as the crazy lady with the three dogs. No shit.

      I’ll be emailing you shortly. Thanks for wanting a free book, Jeff. You are first on the list… next to my kid. He wants everything free. He’s in college.

    2. I, Dave, would like a free copy ofAngry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on Amazon!

  2. I, Nancy, would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes & Noble website.

  3. “I, Linda, would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes & Noble website.

  4. I, Shelly, would love a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Amazon website. Thanks Nancy!

  5. Nancy, since I am a big fan of your writing anyway, I definitely have no problem with your request! 🙂

    I, Wendy, would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Amazon website.

    Come on ,people – join me in helping get the word out on this book. It will be well worth your little bit of time. It’s a quick read and very entertaining! (a snippet of my review)…

  6. I, Elizabeth, would like a copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair. I promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes & Noble website. It’s my turn to buy lunch and I can’t wait to get reading! 8)

  7. I, Diane would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair and promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes n Nobles website.

  8. I, David would like a free copy of Angry Birds And Beehive Hair I promise I will write an honest revies on the Barnes and Noble website

  9. I, Kim would like a free copy of Angry Birds and Beehive Hair and promise on my life that I will write an honest review on the Barnes n Nobles website.

  10. I promise blah blah that I will take your free book and read it eventually and blah blah write a self promoting review in which I get all the benefits and you don’t get any. So did I win?

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