The F Bomb


If you have followed my blog for awhile, you can surmise by my language that I freely use the word, fuck, like salt and pepper.

A little “fuck” here, a dash of “fuck” there.

The F Bomb, as it is politely called, is used by millions of people–sometimes on a daily basis–as myself. How people got into the habit of using the swear word can be debated; some people will say it’s how you were brought up. On the other hand, some people claim it is by the company you keep.

Whatever.

I know how I inherited my use of the word, fuck.

The perps were my parents in the kitchen with the wooden spoon. Take that, Clue lovers!

So, if you gave a fuck about the English language, you would stop fucking around and study the word fuck.

Fuck is one of the most varying and interchangeable words that exists in the English language (and probably ALL languages as well). It’s also known as the the F word and the F bomb.

It is a word that is considered the most vulgar. But, who are we kidding? The most aristocratic people on the planet use the word, fuck–or a variation thereof, almost every single day.

How do I know?

They’re fucking human. That’s why I fucking know, so fuck you, dammit.

The F bomb is used in mostly informal situations, or in most cases, when you’ve had too much to drink, smoke, or snort. Other occasions may be applicable depending on your emotional state as in saying, “What the fuck?” However, this phrase can be used while being completely sober when someone just cut you off in traffic, during a football game when a bad call is made, when someone says you lied and you didn’t, a bad grade on a mid-term…shit. The possibilities of using the phrase, “What the fuck?” are endless.

How about the phrase, “Fuck it?” I use this a lot. This happens mostly when the dogs start fighting among themselves. I’ve had it, so I just say, “Fuck it” and also, “Fuck you.”

All of you.

The best way to use the phrase, “Fuck it,” is when you have to put something together. It could be a toy for Christmas, a snow-plow, trying to start a lawn mower (or any other type of lawn equipment), and also fighting with your girlfriend/boyfriend.

“Fuck it,” is the equivalent of saying in normal English text, “I give up.”

So, fuck it. Let’s move on.

To exaggerate on saying yes or no about something, sometimes people will say, “Fuck, yeah!” or “Fuck, no!” To wit, depending on the situation, I would retort with, “Why the fuck not?”

Here’s another one I use a lot: Fuck me. I say this often to myself and not to some vagrant on the street. That would just be wrong.

I normally say, “Fuck me” under my breath when something bad has happened and I have to fix it, like, immediately. A good example of this would be after a really bad day, I come home to let all the dogs outside to do their business, let them in, change my clothes and the smell a huge pile of dog shit in the living room.

Fuck me.

“Stop fucking around” is a term I typically use with my kids. No, they aren’t toddlers for God’s sake. If that were the case, I would just say, “Fuck it. You’re taking a nap.”

My kids are grown adults. I must say, they don’t use the F bomb as much as my husband and me do. Well, maybe they do–they’re in college. How the fuck would I know?

I mean, I can’t fucking monitor them 24/7. They have their own fucking lives, and I can’t insert a fucking recording device underneath their fucking skin.

Can I?

I’ve said plenty of times, “What the fuck were you thinking?” to the point of being nauseous. Fuck that–who needs to be nauseous? Not fucking me, I’ll tell you that fucking much.

Or, “What the fuck did you say?” is a constant straggler in my house; as you know, I can’t hear a fucking thing.

Other F bomb phrases people use can be anything from, “Shut the fuck up!” (This can be used sarcastically or intentionally, depending on the situation), or along the same lines, “Get the fuck out of here!”

My favorite one since watching the movie, The Heat, is Sandra Bullock’s line. She owns it. I love it, and I say it quite often:

“You’re a dick-fucker!”

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