You Know What They Say About Men With Big Feet


And, apparently this is a misnomer.

I can’t believe that taxpayers actually paid money for this–well, maybe not taxpayers, but someone did–to determine the average penis size while erect and what they call in the article, flaccid.

Most guys don’t call their penis a penis. Some of them actually have names for them.

Seriously.

I Googled it.

Most of the names on this list are lame, or limp. Some are actually kind of funny and would not keep me in “the mood” if my husband were to start calling his member “bratwurst”. But, then again, most names for a dick–other than calling it, “Dick”– (and yes, men do call their penis a dick. It’s on the list. Oh, the originality!), are not going to be something you’d name your newborn son.

So, anybody who has the name Richard, should be called Rich. Sadly, this wasn’t my father’s case. But, he was not a dick.

He was a great guy with a dick just like every man or else I wouldn’t be here to talk about the size of someone’s fire hose.

Anyhoo….

For those with “Johnson” envy, you’ll be happy to know the results from the research of 15,000 participants.

“According to the BJU International journal of urology, the average size of a penis is 5.16 inches (13.12 centimeters) in length when erect, and 4.5 inches (11.66 cm) in circumference.

In a flaccid state, it found, the penis of the average Joe is all of 3.6 inches (9.16 cm) in length and has a girth of 3.6 inches (9.31 cm).”

Do any men feel better now? More importantly, how do the women reading this blog post feel? Do you now have the rabid impulse to measure your husband/boyfriend/significant other’s “fun stick” to see if they are average? Do you already know that they are average just by experience, or do you actually need a ruler?

penisenvyI suppose using a ruler may upset the person with the “moisture and heat seeking venomous throbbing python of love” being measured. Unless, of course, they’ve already measured it but would never fess up this fact because it would be vain.

Penis Envy.

Pecker Envy.

Ramburglar Envy.

You’ll also be happy to know that the research was very thorough as far as race and geological location were concerned. The 15,000 participants (Honestly, I think that’s a lot of men who want to know if they are average or not), spanned the age from 17 to 91 years of age. These “custard launchers” were also measured in Europe, Asia, Africa, and the US.

A little side note about race: Most of the study participants were of European or Middle Eastern descent and a full comparison could not be made.

I guess the biggest shock in this article was there was absolutely no correlation between a man’s foot size and the length of his “dude piston.”

In my single days, I would automatically look at a guy’s shoes–as well as his hands–to determine if” Krull, the Warrior King”, was up to snuff in the pleasure department.

Half the time the deed was never done because the guy just turned out to be a real….

“Mayo Shooting Hot-dog Gun”.

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