Just like my previous posts about Words We Loathe and Love, the rules still apply.
My pad of paper has gotten full again with different words. The sound of the word–not necessarily the meaning–that either makes me smile with satisfaction since it rolls off my tongue like a foreign language, or it makes me smirk and slightly regurgitate.
As usual, our list of words we loathe outnumbered the words we love. And, as usual, this is probably because the words we loathe are often reminiscent of people we dislike or have absolutely no idea about the context of the word and use it over and over…and over; to the point of me picking up the heaviest object within reach and slamming it over their heads to shut them the hell up.
Here’s some new ones. Give me a golf clap if you agree:
Words We Loathe
Falafel. So, I don’t even know what this is. It’s pronounced, “Fa-laful”, as in “full of waffle,” or “it’s god awful.” I’d rather say to someone that they are full of shit, but maybe falafel can be a new swear word for the vegans out there. Falafel is a vegan thing, right?
Quinoa. Since I’m pretty much deaf most of the time, I thought this word was actually pronounced “Qui-no-a.” After my “scofflaw,” I was beaten senseless by several people at the grocery store and left in a pool of blood in aisle five where all the “Keen-wa” items are sold. I’ve tried Quinoa in dinners, lunches, various forms of nutrition bars, and snack mixes. Has it made me look and feel like I should be sitting at the top of a mountain, smiling from ear to ear while watching the sunset after a long and grueling 165 mile bike ride?
Entrepreneur. Everyone is an entrepreneur these days. To me, this means you do nothing. You can say you’re an entrepreneur and spend your living as the guy who replaces toilet paper rolls in public restrooms. The other thing I hate about this word is that typing it is a pain my ass. Go ahead. Try typing entrepreneur over and over again. It’s not fun, and I’m a pretty fast typist.
Curmudgeon. I know what it means, but it really sounds like it should be a place where all the bad people go. Instead of prison, they are sent to curmudgeon where they are eaten by lilliputian people with big appetites, and no empathy for your sorry ass.
It appears in various forms–like a transformer–and one of these days it’s going to show up on my plate and I won’t even realize it until it’s down my gullet. There is the regular vegetable kale, kale chips, kale salads, kale bagels, kale cupcakes…next thing you’ll see is kale steak which won’t make my husband very happy because he’s a caveman. A true carnivore. He eats his meat raw–still moving. I think the worst thing about the word, kale, is that it is going to change into the new trending baby name in about one or two years. Yeah. Gwenyth Paltrow named her kid, Apple. Do you think this is going to stop anyone from naming their kid, Kale? It’s also a non-gender specific name, so it could be for a boy or a girl.
Think about that; I may be onto something there…..
Hack. Ten life saving hacks to save you time. Find out how these five hacks can help you become wealthier! Need to kill someone? Try these three simple hacks to not leave a trace of your DNA.
Hack is another word for short cut. Why can’t we just use the phrase short cut? Well, I’ll tell you why. Because there is a hack to make the word, short cut, simpler. It’s called, hack. And, to me, hack is like taking an ax and whacking away at a stump of wood–given the fact that you have absolutely no knowledge of cutting up wood with an ax–basically hacking away at it like a beaver which isn’t very attractive, unless you want to look like a beaver.
This is going in the wrong direction. Moving on…..
Words We Love
Fibromyalgia. I love this word because it sounds like it belongs in an opera:
Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one combined
The Phantom of the Opera is there/here
Inside my/your mind
He’s there, the phantom of the opera!
Beware, he has fibromyalgia!
He’s there, the phantom of the opera!
Beware he has fibromyalgia!
Ankylosy spondylitis. This is a fun word because it kind of flows off the tongue if you say it often enough. The ebonics version is ank-kih-low-sing spon-dill-eye-tiss. It actually is a more complex meaning for common arthritis, which I’m getting right now because I am typing this word that I’m not used to typing. So repeat after me:
(sing it with me)….
Pretty soon, you’ll just start singing, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
Roomba. Although it’s supposed to clean floors, it sounds like a dance move. And, if you get too trashy and sleezy while dancing the roomba, someone will tell you, “Jesus, why don’t you guys get a room…..ba.”
Fuck. Yes, we all know I love this word. I wrote about it awhile back.There are so many uses for this word!
Fuck you, you didn’t toss that watermelon out a thirty story building, David Letterman did!
Fuck yeah! Let’s go streaking!
I don’t give a fuck what you think, I’m fucking going to make those fucking baked beans that take twelve fucking hours, and when they’re done they better taste fucking awesome!
Fuck this. I’m outta here.